His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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