my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
