Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
