then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
