Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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