Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
