I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
