Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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