It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm experimenting with sincerity
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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