the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Life is so much better after having sex.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
