yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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