I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
