We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Randomize
