i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
