we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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