So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
