He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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