i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
