yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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