I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
