If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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