I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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