Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
