i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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