is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Just high enough for therapy.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
dude. I can hear the air.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
