sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
