There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
