I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
