i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
