i just wanna soil my oats bro
I want to make a zoo with you.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
handjob tips. give me some.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
