He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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