yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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