He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
