I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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