In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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