I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize