i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I wish i was in the wii world.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
