this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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