i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
