My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
