guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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