we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
