that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
