Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
