I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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