Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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