I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
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