i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
