butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
