96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
