Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I've blown a few things in my day
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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