Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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