So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
