Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize