can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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