I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize