So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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