PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Green mimosas i think yes
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
