I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
