Already got asked if we're dating
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize