at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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