3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
