I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
