My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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