I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
