It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
