i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
