Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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