didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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