Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(514): View more from Quebec

just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.

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(248): View more from Michigan

..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.

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(970): View more from Colorado

Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand

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(313): View more from Michigan

So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.

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(214): View more from Texas

I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?

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(708): View more from Illinois

what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!

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(310): View more from California

That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.

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