thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
