Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
I'm really busy with my period
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