Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
