I'm really into asian looking animals
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
