paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
