Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
